Here comes a special boy

I want Charles in charge of me

2009-08-28T17:27:12Z

Potluck day at work! I love work potlucks because it means my manager, Sudha, brings in giant dishes of crazy delicious indian food. Also, brownies with ice cream.

I'm feeling really energetic right now, which is strange because I'm at work, and that generally sucks all of the hope and joy out of my life. I guess I'm just excited for the weekend and for my VACATION the week after next. Going to be gooood times!

Also, I have a twitter now. You should read it. twitter.com/smashpatriarchy Livejournal is so 2003

Thank you sweet baby Jesus

2009-08-11T23:37:04Z

Steven and I have been living at Steve and Drew's for the past couple of days because our apartment was completely inhospitable to human life. Well, FAT human life, anyway. Ninety plus degrees all day and night isn't something I can handle. When we got back to our apartment from work today, we found some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that they never ordered the parts that they needed to fix our air conditioner a month and a half ago. The good news is that instead of actually putting in the order NOW and waiting for them to come in, they just went ahead and installed a brand new AC unit.

It's still rather warm in here, but I have no idea when it was installed or how warm it was when they put it in, so I'ma give it some time to work and see how things go. At the very least, it's enough for us to be able to move back in!

sporklord @ 2009-08-09T13:58:00

2009-08-09T18:00:05Z

Both of our air conditioners have been broken for like two months. I fucking hate McKinley. It is 90 degrees in here and the guy I called in the office to ask when the parts we need will be in was a huge douche to me. I am seriously going to cut a bitch if this doesn't get fixed soon. If anyone needs me, I'll be over there, DYING.

sporklord @ 2009-08-06T07:47:00

2009-08-06T11:48:09Z

These are a few of my favorite things!

2009-08-02T12:05:16Z

Pentatonic scales, neurolinguistic programming, and Bobby McFerrin

sporklord @ 2009-07-31T07:48:00

2009-07-31T11:53:12Z

"Oh no, that tainted batch of children's medicine just permanently crippled my only daughter! I certainly won't be buying THAT brand again!" - Libertarian consumer safety protocols

Writer's Block: Investigations of a Female Nature

2009-07-20T11:07:16Z

Who is your favorite lady detective from movies, books, or TV?

View 506 Answers

DUH

Also contains a vial of Frank Black's sweat

2009-07-15T11:54:21Z

Is $495 too much to spend for a CD box set?

Even a limited edition one of three thousand Pixies box set signed by the entire band?

The definitive Pixies collector's piece. Minotaur is curated by legendary graphic designer, Vaughan Oliver, who in connection with photographer Simon Larbalestier, created the album artwork for all five Pixies' studio albums. Oliver and Larbalestier have teamed up once again on Minotaur, to create their largest single body of Pixies work to date.

Includes all five Pixies' studio albums (Come on Pilgrim, Surfer Rosa, Doolittle, Bossanova, and Trompe le Monde) in the following formats: 24k gold plated CD's; five 12" - 180 gram virgin vinyl LP's cut from the original analog tapes; Blu-ray audio mastered for 5.1 surround sound and 2 channel stereo at 24/192; DVD mastered for 5.1 surround sound and 2 channel stereo at 24/96. Also included is the previously unreleased Pixies 1991 live performance from Brixton, on both Blu-ray and DVD, mastered for 5.1 surround sound at 24/192 and 24/96, respectively. All discs are housed in a custom designed folio.

In addition to reinterpreting all of the original album covers, Oliver's and Larbalestier's extensive work is featured in a 96-page fine art book, measuring 22" x 14" inches, and an additional 54-page book, measuring 7.75" x 8.25". Also included is a 12" x 19.5" giclee print of the duo's work, and two double-sided fold-out posters measuring 48" x 36."

Each copy of the Limited Edition is individually numbered, and hand-signed by every member of the Pixies and Vaughan Oliver. Additionally, at random, 25 of the 3000 Limited Edition sets will include test pressings of the vinyl albums. Housed in an oversized clamshell case and weighing over 25 pounds, Minotaur ships via Federal Express or UPS worldwide.

Sexy, right?

I should be chained to a 6'4" Norwegian with a PhD in sucking dick!

2009-07-11T11:18:33Z

I saw Bruno last night, and I've got to say, my favorite part of the movie was the people who were sitting behind me who kept going "Whaaaaaaa?" and "Oh no he di'in't!" every five minutes.

sporklord @ 2009-06-09T00:38:00

2009-06-09T00:43:56Z

I got a brand new netbook yesterday, and I love it to death! It's totally adorable. It's an Inspiron Mini 10. I got Windows 7 installed on it, and Steve and Steven helped me get updated video drivers for it so I can actually run on the native resolution (1024x576). I am posting from it right now! I also found out that there's an unsecured wireless network that I can access in the break room at work, which is hell of sweet. Next order of business: installing WoW so I can use the auction house at lunch and try to control the market on Runed Scarlet Rubies all day long! (Like seriously, no one else cuts that shit. It's crazy!)

those tits are going CRAZY

2009-03-24T11:51:32Z

Hi Livejournal! How are you? I am fine. (Not dead.) Love to stay and chat, but I've got to go to work where I have a busy day of farting around on the internet and pretending that I should actually get paid for doing nothing ahead of me!

sporklord @ 2008-11-20T07:23:00

2008-11-20T12:28:09Z

I guess I forgot to mention it because I never write in this thing anymore, but I got a promotion last week! I started training this week to become the new loan officer for my credit union, and I actually have my first loan closing today, which I will do in my new office. My new office that has a door! So, yeah. I've somehow managed to get a real grown-up job. I'm still not entirely convinced I AM a grown up, but at least I can play one at work.

sporklord @ 2008-09-19T11:20:00

2008-09-19T15:18:02Z

So, I had to call in to work for the past two days because I've been really sick. I went in to work this morning, though, and I essentially got sent home. I feel like a huge jerk because it means extra work for everyone else, but my co-workers and manager were basically pushing me out the door and telling me to go home and rest.

On the plus side, these tissues have Vicks in them, and, while it almost certainly has no medicinal purpose, it makes my nose feel minty and tingly.

sporklord @ 2008-09-12T17:20:00

2008-09-12T21:18:47Z

Did you guys know that since Obama sounds like Osama, Barrack must be a muslim terrorist? IT'S TRUE I HEARD IT ON TV

Also
JOHN MCWAYNE GACY - Serial killer presidential candidate
SARAH STALIN - Communist vice-presidential candidate

sporklord @ 2008-08-15T07:47:00

2008-08-15T11:46:00Z

Does anyone else think James Murphy is bizarrely attractive?

sporklord @ 2008-08-03T21:05:00

2008-08-04T01:04:32Z

16 year old boy falls 30 feet, breaks spine. Police arrive on scene, tazer him 19 times

sporklord @ 2008-07-21T09:42:00

2008-07-21T13:52:08Z

So, I did not win the karaoke contest finals last night. I think I gave a really great performance, but then, pretty much everyone else there did, too. On the plus side, getting to hang out with your friends in a gross bowling-alley bar is a pretty good time.

sporklord @ 2008-07-17T20:48:00

2008-07-18T00:49:01Z

WHY aren't you watching this? You should be watching this.

(Not pictured: Joss Whedon)

PS: It's only free until Sunday at MIDNIGHT
PPS: You ~~can~~ should buy it when it stops being free.

sporklord @ 2008-06-12T11:12:00

2008-06-12T15:11:47Z

Ok, so Kucinich's resolution to impeach Bush was referred to the House Judiciary Committee yesterday, where it will most likely be ignored and die. If you don't want that to happen, it might be a good idea to make some phone calls. A good place to start would be John Conyers, the chairman of the committee. The number for his Washington office is (202) 225-5126. As it just so happens, he is the representative for parts of Detroit and Dearborn as well as Highland Park and Hamtramack, so there've got to be at least a couple of people reading this who are actually his constituents. Give his office a call, for real. It only takes a couple of minutes, and phone calls tend to send a much stronger message than letters.

sporklord @ 2008-06-11T07:38:00

2008-06-11T11:38:19Z

So, last night I fell asleep watching CSPAN. The clerks were reading Dennis Kucinich's 35 article resolution for the impeachment of George Bush (which you can also read more about here). Hopefully, I can find the time to read this while I'm at work.

sporklord @ 2008-05-15T18:26:00

2008-05-15T22:26:38Z

So, I was reading today about feminism, and I did not realize this, but apparantly, there are quite a few feminists who do not believe that men can truly be "feminists," but only "profeminists." This is because men don't have the experiences and frame of reference to understand the trials and tribulations that women go through simply from being female, and as a result of this, aren't able to truly emphatize with women in this area. Honestly, I feel like the whole discussion is just semantics, and the opinions and feelings of feminist or profeminist men are more important than the nomenclature.

This got me thinking, however. As a gay male, I've experienced my own share of oppression and discrimination, both personal and cultural. Obviously, this is different than what women go through, but does it give gay men more of an insight into the plight of women? This then led me to think about the divide between minorities. For instance, I could, if I so desired, attempt to hide my identity as a gay male and blend into the majority, possibly skirting discrimination. Women and other minorities don't have that luxury. Honestly, I'm very interested in this disconnect between "visible" minorities, like women and African-Americans, and "stealth" minorities, like homosexuals and people of non-mainstream religions, and the different trials and tribulations that are unique to each of them. Anyone have any books or essays along those lines that they could recommend to me?

sporklord @ 2008-05-13T23:23:00

2008-05-14T03:23:19Z

Ok, here we go

My new job rules (except for when the plaza it's in catches on fire)

The new NIN album rules (so far I guess (the NEW new album))

The new Islands album rules (more than the NIN album)

Snickerdoodle/cake batter ice cream rules (if they'll mix it in at Coldstone for you)

Steven rules (for serious)

I rule (hardcore)

Making LJ posts ~~rules~~ doesn't rule (apparantly, since I don't do it)

sporklord @ 2008-04-10T20:00:00

2008-04-10T12:00:53Z

1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks?
Bathtub

2. The thing you push around the grocery store?
Baby carriage

3. A metal container to carry a meal in?
Altoids aren't a meal

4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in?
Kitchen

5. The piece of furniture that seats three people?
A very large ottoman

6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof?
Automatic electrified rain-carrying machine

7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening?
Garage

8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages?
Tonic and honey

9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup?
Cookie

10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself?
$5

11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach?
State-mandated sex-offender sign

12. Shoes worn for sports?
Shoes

13. Putting a room in order?
Having nothing better to do

14. A flying insect that glows in the dark?
Scary

15. The little insect that curls up into a ball?
Chiggers

16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down?
I think I got suspended for doing that once

17. When private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?
Black market

18. The evening meal?
Delicious

19. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
Crawl space

20. The thing that you can get drinking water out of in public places?
Pool

21. How do you eat your pizza?
Constantly

Hey paesano, what do you know about human sexuality?

2008-03-17T18:46:29Z

This is the greatest youtube in the history of mankind

sporklord @ 2008-03-04T07:22:00

2008-03-04T12:17:50Z

I've been putting off writing in here for a long time, and I have a lot of things to cover! Unfortunately, I have to put them off once again because I need to go to work. I'm posting this now to remind me to make ANOTHER post when I get home from work, where I will discuss such topics as: my anniversary, my new job, WoW, the creepy brother connection, and getting hit by a meteorite that fell out of the sky.